Let’s make Money Together

Douglas Boneparth has heard every kind of money question under the sun. But over the years, the financial advisor noticed an overlooked topic that even the smartest clients hadn’t seemed to consider: the combination of love and money.

“There’s not much out there when it comes to handling an often very emotional and messy topic,” explained Boneparth when he spoke with Brew Markets over Zoom this week.

We discussed what writing a book with his wife, Heather, was like, when to broach the topic of finances with your significant other, and how he navigates being an online persona.

The following conversation has been edited for length and clarity.

What inspired you and your wife, Heather, to write Money Together?

For me, I heard from an executive of a bank that one of the biggest problems they were facing, specifically in wealth management, was that when older clients died, their widowed wives had been left in the dark when it came to finances. That’s extremely sad, and it doesn’t need to be that way.

Heather wanted to make a point that people think contribution to a household is about money, and it’s far beyond that. All time matters, all energy matters. The person making the money probably can’t do that without the support of their partner. We’re talking about the invisible mental loads that women in particular bear.

That was one of the big drivers behind this project: How can we get both partners to the table?

In the book you talk a lot about how married people think about their finances. At what point in a relationship do you think it’s time to start talking about money?

For one, there are ways to have conversations about money without talking about money. If it’s a second, third, fourth date you can ask about what it was like growing up, how they spend their summers, etc. These are questions that can reveal a lot about someone’s past.

But when it comes down to the ones and zeros, I would think it’s time to bring up things like your savings and investing, contribution to a 401k, I think you have that conversation when you’re starting to plan for a future together and a commitment.

Beyond being a financial advisor, you have a big social media presence. How did you first decide to take your presence online, and how do you navigate that now?

Back in 2017 to 2019, the financial Twitter environment was a great way to make friends online and in real life, and everyone was creating content. I’ve always used humor in my life and love comedy. I thought I was way funnier than a lot of the anonymous accounts, but it was truly a coping mechanism to take a lot of the sadness and darkness that was happening in those pandemic years. It worked to take financially relevant topics and take humor and blend them together in a way that really resonated with people.

How are you helping clients navigate this current moment in markets?

Older millennials on down are the main focus of our firm. That’s important because, if you link that to investment time horizon and how long our typical client has to invest, it’s fairly long. That's a luxury in many ways, because withstanding volatility and bad timing and sequence risk and returns, a lot of that is more muted than if you were talking to someone who had less time on their side.

That’s how clients are able to withstand drawdown, recessions, tariff tantrum events, or AI volatility.

When it comes to AI specifically, I do not think there is a bubble in AI stocks per se. I believe there may be a bubble in the expectations.

As a financial planner, certainly as a CFP, my job is to be in the business of setting expectations, and the best way to do that is through financial planning and making sure people understand where they are, where they're going, and what they can do to improve the probability that they get there.—LB